Shouldn't i be dead by now?

Nope not really... My mother has overdosed over 20 times when I was growing up. And when she overdosed I mean overdosed!! She would take bottles of hard core medication every time, and never died. One time she did it in the woods, so nobody would find her, she ped out but it was so cold that her body couldn't digest the medication. Instead she got frostbite all down her throat, her tongue and her fingers. She also went through a window a few years ago has has 12 surgeries since then to try to get feeling back in her hands. But she wouldn't take a gun and shoot herself, because in her mind it was 100% and she just couldn't do that. I think you don't really want to die, you told your doctor which you knew would land you in the hospital, and you are on here looking for people to tell you that you shouldn't do that that your so luck and so on...therefore it was a cry for help...You were in the ICU after trying to commit suicide and only in the psych ward for 3days??? Something isn't adding up..Bottom line, I have lived with mental disorders my whole life, something about your story tells me its either a cry for someone to give two shi**s about you, or your going through a mood crisis...You'll be ok, just tell yourself that and don't continue to hurt the people around you, because honestly you may think they all of a sudden care more about you and its all good, but in reality, your just hurting them and what your seeing is their pain.